Emails:

An email from me to my ATI instructor last night:

Dear ******,
Well, I took the NCLEX and am really freaking out. I got 75 questions, about 8 select all that apply (which I stink at), 1 drug calculation, lots ofpriority/delegation. I do not feel good about it at all. I feel like I wasnt exposed to half the information that was presented. I cant even find correct answers for some of the questions I remember that I just flat out didnt know. It was really hard. I managed to stay calm and did my best. Any wordsof wisdon here? Everyone keeps saying they "KNOW" I passed and I am so afraid I didnt! Any advice???

*Thankforyourtimeblablabla-Prisca*

And her reply this morning:
I can not tell you how many times I have heard this story ---and, guess what--students with your scores on the ATI program just don't fail NCLEX. I know you are replaying each question in your head and probably can not think of any you got even near right ---but you did! When you get your score on Monday, you will be a very happy camper. When you come off the walls, drop me an email. I will watch out for it. Take a deep breath!

OK, so I dont believe a word she is saying, but I do love her for writing those words to me...

During the wait, I am sure it is normal to convince oneself that they failed the NCLEX.

That said, I feel like I failed. Would probably bet money on it at this point.

I dont know--I cant remember any of the upper level questions and I know I missed some of the knowledge based ones. How could I have possibly passed that? I would get like 5 or 6 really hard questions in a row, then a relatively easier one, then back up into the hard ones. My second to last question was a leadership question.

I have to work a 12 tomorrow and am trying to figure out how to get my results at 10AM at work???? Thinking of sneaking in the bathroom and looking them up on my phone but dont know if that will work or not. But then what if I fail? I will be a wreck at my new job, so thinking I should just wait until I get home tomorrow night.

And yes, I AM checking pearson every couple hours in the hope that I am the ONE PERSON IN THE WORLD that they posted the results early for. On a weekend. Because God told them to. Har!

I feel absolutely crazy. For those of you out there waiting to take the exam--I just want you to note here what a basketcase I am...OK? Now you know and you will feel normal when you act like this. Warn your family and friends ahead of time!!!!

Now back to waiting...

Xanax anyone?

Tomorrow is the big day. I dont even know what to write. I think I am just very overwhelmed. Will be back to report on the whole ordeal--until then, thanks for your well wishes and prayers!

Back and forth

I keep panicing and thinking I should reschedule. I just dont trust myself, ATI, any of it. I am doing well in Saunders (staying above 80%) but still feel completely stupid about meds and some of the disease processes. I just want to get NCLEX over with. I keep going back to my ATI instructor saying to "take the exam asap," and I need to be able to trust her advice. I have studied more than anyone I know--thank God I have had some time off to do so. Hubby says he cant take me anymore and that if I reschedule he is going to go nuts. ;) He is a sweety--so thankful he supports me.

So, an all day study session for me today and tomorrow, then just reviews all week until I take the exam. Need to get my labs down once and for all (I like to mix INR, Lithium, PT and PTT values up). Today is Saunders--as much as I can handle and pharm review. Going to make lab flash cards as I cant find the last set I made (think I threw them out in a cleaning frenzy).

Oh you guys-I am so freaked. I have to get some control over my anxiety about this. It also doesnt help that I am one of the 1st people scheduled for the exam (#3 to be exact)--my whole class has put things off until February it seems. The two class members who have taken it have passed. Thats a relief, I suppose.

I am not even nervous about my job because I am so consumed. Blech. Thanks for listening out there.

Dont Like Hurst Much

Not too fond of the last review book I bought--but do like all the cool review charts in it--it is the first time I have seen anyone advocate calling the doc in a question over doing an assessment. I'm sorry, but I will likely refrain from calling a doc without vitals in my hands. The conversation would likely go something like this:

Me @ 2AM:
"Hi Dr. Happy, I have your patient Mr BLa in room 219 who is 6 hrs post lap chole. He is complaining that his stomach hurts and he saw a drop of blood in his stool."

Dr. Happy:
"What are his vitals?"

Me:
"Um, well according to a NCLEX review book I once read, I was supposed to call you first BEFORE I assessed my patient. So I, uh, don't have any vitals yet."

Dr. Happy:
"Are you *(*&&^&*)_) crazy? It is 2AM and you call me without assessing your patient? Call me back when you have something to tell me!!!!!!"

Dr. Happy hangs up on me and I have lost all credibility. Now maybe my new little green nursing school mind is mistaken, but the above is not anything I want to do anytime soon (oh, and THANK God I am not in med surg--dislike all that stuff.)

(-from nurstoons.com)

In other news:

One of my friends had a terrible first day on the floor as a GN. She got stuck with a preceptor who didnt know she was precepting and basically treated my friend like her whipping boy (excuse the phrase). This new GN was supposed to follow the RN and get the "lay of the land" and learn some stuff--instead, the preceptor would say things like, "Oh, I have to go hang this piggyback and reinforce this guys dressing--while I'm doing that will you go get so and so on the bedside commode." So my new GN friend changed beds, got people on bedpans, etc and did not do ONE task above that which a UAP could handle (and yes, they had techs on the floor and the census was normal).

Now, let me just get on my high horse for a moment. We have a pretty crappy hospital system in our area owned by a large corporation who likes to see lots of $$$$. They have a hard time recruiting and keeping nurses and they have just built a few new big hospitals. A lot of my classmates signed on with them for 2 yrs for a $6000 bonus.

What do I think of this kind of sign on? Well, if they have to pay you that much money to come on board, they are 1.) VERY understaffed, 2.) having trouble retaining their nurses and/or 3.) have some really crappy working conditions. I refused to even apply there as I know new nurses that have gone before me and been miserable in this system, only to leave 6 mos in and have to repay their bonuses.

So now the horror stories are starting to trickle in--some GN's were told they would be 5:1 ratio and the reality is a 7:1 without a tech. They arent getting as much orientation as they were promised, etc. And the sad thing is , EVERY GN I KNOW WHO HAS DONE THIS HAS SPENT EVERY LAST CENT OF THEIR $6000. Ok, sorry to yell, but they are 3 weeks in, hating life, and have to pay back $6000 to go anywhere. The hospital owns their butts.

Is there something wrong with that picture? *sigh*

Off to have my TB read, get another set of scrubs and study AGAIN for NCLEX. Lets all say a prayer for Aunt Pickle who takes her NCLEX tomorrow--we are rooting for ya, girl!!! Oh, and hello to my new readers-thanks for commenting!

Mondays

Less than two weeks to go before I take the NCLEX and I am pretty nervous. I go between apathy and panic while I am studying. Like I cant fit anymore info inot my brain and then I start to wonder if I am going to fail. Then I hear that the NCLEX is harder than all the review books and I want to vomit. Should I have taken Kaplan? Am I an idiot? Why does it feel like I've forgotten everything when I am reviewing? OH my.

Aside from all that: I am off to County Hospital to take my preemployment physical and sign my paperwork. Yippee! I start my job a week from today...Back later to tell ya how that went!

hello old friend

It's 3AM and I am up for hopefully the very last time with this feeling--an old friend of a feeling. My stomach hurts, my heart is racing, and I feel panicked. Yeah, I would be worried if I hadn't felt like this many times before.

Wow, I can remember all the times I have felt this way through the nursing program. Early on, clinicals always had me up early, if I was able to sleep at all. The pressure to be on time and on my A game no matter what was overwhelming--couple that with the amount of work that was required of me beforehand and I was quite a mess. I learned to function at a high level with a small amount of sleep. I actually learned to feel quite rested on 4 hours of sleep. Was this the point of the pressure nursing school inflicts? I think so.

The thing is, I will have people's lives in my hands in one month. I will be up for 12 hours at night caring for a mom and an unborn baby--I will be stressed and probably tired and expected to be again, on my A game, no matter how I "feel." I have learned to work under the extreme pressure of school and I suspect it is nothing compared to the extreme pressure of life and death situations I'm going to encounter in my new job.

Last night I watched "Project Runway" and one of the guys had to stay up all night sewing a dress--he was exhausted. And not to minimize what he was feeling, but I watched feeling like his experience was somewhat trivial. So what if someone walked down the runway in something ugly--in the grand scheme of things, it doesn't matter, it isn't life and death...Oh, and his level of exhaustion was nothing compared to what I have seen health care workers experience. Seriously--I just think of some of the exhausted residents and nurses I have sen and I have to laugh at how tired that guy was from sewing. Tehe. But I am sure he was really, really stressed out...

Which leads me to the fact that I have, as a person, really sobered up about life. I used to be pretty undisciplined and was a big slacker. No more. I am learning that each day is very precious and life is hard work. But I do need to learn to have some fun again--to watch a silly TV show and enjoy the triviality of it because that is healthy. As a nurse, I need to be silly sometimes and be able to just relax when I am at home. How else am I going to live under such pressure all the time.

I hope this is the last time I feel like this yet I am sure this feeling is just going to change in nature. After my exam today I will come home, take a nap, and start studying again. And tomorrow it will be all over. I will be done with this part of my education and moving into "real life" stress. Nursing school has prepared me and scared me--my new motto! :)Just a couple more hurdles and on to the next set of challenges. God help me!

More after the test...

Tomorrow

I'm almost a nurse. Almost....

Last big study day for my Adult 3 final. My stomach hurts, I feel yucky, but I am trucking right along. Dreaming about hypovolemia last night and increased ICP. I kept thinking that an increased CVP = hypervolemia so how does volume affect ICP? Makes no sense--I am mixing cardiac and neuro I think. I know excess fluid and pressure build up causes HTN which contributes to ICP in a head injury...but why do I have to think about it all night? Ugh.

Anyway, my brain is all screwed up. And my phrenic nerve is on the fritz (I have the hiccups.)

Here's a fun math test for you guys out there:
1. Ordered: 3000 mL for 24 hr. The drop factor is 15.

• How many gtt/min will infuse via gravity infusion?


2. Ordered: 75 mL to be infused for 45 min. The drop factor is 10.

• At how many mL/hr will you set an infusion pump?

• How many gtt/min will infuse via a gravity flow IV ?


3. Ordered: 1000 mL to be infused for 12 hr IV

• At how many mL/hr will you set the infusion pump?

• How many gtt/min will be administered via gravity IV if the drop factor is 12?


4. Ordered: 1200 mL to be infused for 8 hr.

• The drop factor is microdrip. How many gtt/min will infuse?

• How many mL/hour will set the electronic infusion devise?


5. Infuse 2000 mL D5W for 24 hr. The drop factor is 10

• At how many mL/hr will you set the infusion pump ?

• How many gtt/mm will be administered?


6. Ordered: 1500 mL NS to infuse for 12 hr. The drop factor is 15.

• How many mL/hr will be administered?

• How many gtt/min will infuse?


7. Infuse 200 mL cefazolin to infuse for 45 min on the infusion pump.

• At how many mL/hr will you set the pump?


8. Ordered: 1000 mL to run for 12 hr on microdrip.

• At how many gtt/min will you regulate the flow ?


9. Ordered: 250 mL to infuse for 90 min.

• How many gtt/min will infuse using administration set with 15 gtt factor?

• How many mL/hr will infuse if the pump is used?


10. Ordered: 50 mL piggyback to infuse for 30 min. The drop factor is 20.

• At how many gtt/min will you set the rate?

– a. 17 gtt/min

– b. 100 gtt/min

– c. 20 gtt/min

– d. 33 gtt/min



Answers:
1. 31 gtt/min
2. 100 ml/hr, 17 gtt/min
3. 83 ml/hr, 17 gtt/min
4. 150 ml/hr, 150 gtt/min
5. 83 ml/hr, 14 gtt/min
6. 125 ml/hr, 31 gtt/min
7. 267 ml/hr
8. 83 gtt/min
9. 42 gtt/min, 167 ml/hr
10. d

hobby lobby

My hubby is so cute. He actually went to hobby lobby and made me a graduation present--a cute tote bag w/ a nurse ironed on it and big RED RN letters, a T-shirt and a compilation CD with cool old nurse pics on it. Very sweet. He couldnt wait to give it to me so he presented it with lots of "I'm proud of you's."

Menawhile, I am a freakazoid and cant seem to get much studying done. The cycle goes like this: Every half hour or so, I start studying, feel overwhelmed, and play on the computer for a bit. Then I begin again. So far have made it through Cardiac and Respiratory. Need to go through immune and neuro today. Tomorrow is GI. Also am studying the new stuff (GU) here and there and doing some math.

Ok, off to cycle through again!

test review

Went to test review this morning and am scared poopless (and I should have just stayed home as it was completely useless). Came home and proceeded to fall asleep for 2 hours. DEAD asleep. Now I am awake and even more scared. MUST get to the books but since my comprehensive final is well, comprehensive, I know not where to begin...

Oh, and did I mention this is another one of those "get a 75%-no rounding-no mercy-or you fail" type situations? There is the (hopefully slight) possibility I could blow it all and not graduate on Monday. How scary is that???

Please pray for me. Please. Please.

Thanks.

4AM again

Woke up at 4. Had an idea. Got out computer. Made a powerpoint on sterile wet-dry wound dressing. Will give to instructors as peace offering seeing as they have no resource for this procedure.

(Am secretly hoping it will get me by in case my perfectionism isn't enough. Maybe instructors will notice what a wonderous student I am. Ha.)

Later.

freak out

freaking out about sterile dressing changes.

freaking. out.

Calm

I've managed to have a nice, calm weekend with my family. Went to a church service/picnic yesterday and it was so lovely to put my brain into something other than school. Very restful. Been trying to concentrate more on the purpose of nursing school instead of the goal of graduating. My intention in all this was to do something meaningful and to help people...I lose track of that a lot and have been pretty upset/angry/anxious/horrid. All the things I just dont want to be about something I really want to do with my life. One of my school friends said I havent been myself since I failed competency. Guess I have been trying to process things lately. Who am I if I fail out this semester? I am still a wife, mother, friend. I have so much outside of school.

Tomorrow is d-day where I redo my skill. If for some reason I do fail, a lot of good things will come of it. Rest, peace, housework, time with my family. I'm *trying* to focus on that, just in case. ;) But I am prepared to pass. We will see, huh?

My husband is having nosebleeds all of the sudden? He has had 4 in the last week and I am a bit concerned. Off to the doc I suppose.

I am home studying respiratory and leadership today. Still need to figure out those new dang drug calcs...Study group is tonight. Back in the swing for yet another week...

Oh, and I get assigned two patients for the first time in my upcoming clinical. WOW! Almost at the 2 months mark.

4:23 AM

Up and ready for clinicals. Leave @ 5AM to meet up with classmates in order to navigate the downtown parking w/out getting a 100 buck fine from the hospital we will be at.

Yeterday was a bad day at school for me. A bad day with ok outcomes--got a 90% on my cardiac exam and managed to do that after having a major confrontation w/ my instructor...long story. Suffice it to say he told me and others in my group that we would be checking off on our failed skills immediately after lecture???? Originally we were checking of next week. Yeah, panic ensued. I kept it together through the test and then everything went downhill after that--but I am checking off next Monday as previously told. Advocated for myself and others and it worked. Had some tears, went to stupid sim man which is a waste of time, and then to my new clinical site where I had three patients discharged on me before I found one I could take for tomorrow-w/out help from my instructor who could not be reached by anyone. (She finally returned my page at 2130 last night. uhoh)

I dont like who I am or what school is doing to me. Have a constant headache/stomache and the anxiety reared its ugly head last night. Just laid in bed and prayed until I fell asleep for a couple hours.

My pt today has metatstic gastric cancer. Through all of this, I hope I can help her in some small way. Ultimately, this hell is about service to others. I am having trouble remembering that, but I'm doing my best.

Hope you all are well out there. I turn 35 this week! ;)

stress

Later: Ok, got an email from said instructor and have set up a meeting to find out what he wants from me. Should be glorious. ;)

I am so stressed right now. I work all day, everyday to make a dent in the workload. It is wearing on me. Then on top of it I have the emotional roller coaster of failing my skill and I am a mess.

Part of the problem is that I was demonstrated an improper way of performing the skill in lab--because my stupid instructor never demonstrated what HE wanted. So, it was partly my fault for not understanding/clarifying and partly his for being a big jerk and assuming we would all know what to do. Plus, I dont have a wet to dry sterile wound dressing in any of my texts? My wound was eviserated and I have notrhing...finally last night found a similiar procedure in my Nursing Made INcredibly Easy book and am going to use that. Meanwhile, I emailed jerk-face and asked him to clarify what I need to do. Will see him in class tomorrow and will follow up.

Now, in his defense, he was somewhat polite to ME whilst failing me (oh joy), but he laughed at other students incompetencies, was completely unprofessional in some of his remarks (I mean is dropping the F-bomb during a check off ok?), and was just plain mean as a snake to many students. I dont get it?

Anyway, if any of you know how to do a sterile, wet to dry wound change on a 6 inch eviserated wound AND if you know how to measure the thing w/out breaking sterile field, please let me know.

Off to the poor and homeless today. I hope I can be kind and helpful and a good little nursing student though I feel down and rotten and like I want to quit. Maybe being out in the world helping someone will refresh my perspective? Thank you all for your kind comments on the last post. I'm not alone, it seems.

This week

Lots going on around here. Todays is one of my kiddo's birthday-10 yrs old! Man, they get big FAST! Just finshed making a yummy double chocolate cake all while studying COPD, SCI, and AMI. Its hard to cook and study at the same time...

So comps are my main focus today and have my 1st lecture exam tomorrow. Got 100% on the 1st two quizzes I've had. So, here's the plan for the week:

Mon: exam, lecture, job interview, study
Tues: study comps ALL DAY
Wens: community clinical @ a homeless shelter
Thurs: lecture, study comps
Fri: study all day
Sat: study all day

My clinical competency is next monday! Not freaking too bad. Man, after the next two weeks I will be in my last clinical rotation! 5 weeks of that and I am in the home stretch. It is going so quickly.

Had my picture taken last week with my cap and pin on. That was so surreal and fun.

My job is going pretty well, although I really suck at phlebotomy and I dont like the EMT's much. They are kinda rude. And they made fun of me yesterday for being a newbie...and for blushing when they made fun of me. I felt like I was 12 yrs old and realized I really need to get a thicker skin. Basically I put the cardiac monitor leads backwards on my patient (can you say brain fart? i had been doing it right all day) and the 4 guys in the room decided to rib me (2 EMT's, a male nurse, and an EMT trainee). Too much testosterone, I guess. I hate that I turn bright red when I get flustered. Geez.

Oh, fun mnemonic for placing leads:
white=right
Smoke over fire
Clouds over grass


It all comes down to the fact that I know NOTHING. And I hate that feeling. And I hate screwing up. I KNOW YOU LEARN THAT WAY. But it sucks. BUT I did get some nice complements from a couple ER nurses--they told me I am going to be a great nurse. That means a lot coming from them. I have them fooled.

today is the day

the first of a many stressful pass/fail days is today and i feel pretty ready. we do a head-to-toe assessment and can't miss anything on the instructions we have been given. honestly, i am more worried about my partner than myself. she hadnt even looked at the guidelines when we practiced on friday. meanwhile, i have had it memorized for weeks. i'm going to go first and maybe jog her memory so she does ok--hate for anyone to fail.

cant believe i am already so negative about everything. going to try harder. say a little prayer for me and my bad attitude if you can!

later: passed my physical assessment, even though i dont think the instructor was mentally present for the whole thing. whatever. it is done. onward and forward. my stomach is presently in a state of gastritis-ness, but that too shall pass.

got ANOTHER big project thrown at us today. make it stop!!!!!!!!!!

seriously, i am so overwhelmed that i actually feel somehwat euphoric. i am in a state of denial, i think.

no sleep

It is a bad sign when in week one I am already having trouble sleeping. Have a lot going on already--went to the bookstore w/ a friend from class yesterday. Had an interesting conversation:

Friend: Have you done your reading for Monday's quiz?
Me: Yeah, read all 5 chapters over break. They didn't seem to fit w/ community nursing, but oh well.
Friend: Oh, well, I don't like the community book anyway.
Me: What community book? The chapters were in our Brunners (BIG Med/surg text).
Friend: Uh no, Prisca. The chapters are in our NEW community book.
Me: What new community book?

My friend led me over to where I had to purchase my own copy of this stupid book for 56 bucks. Felt like a moron and now have 5 chaps to read this weekend on community based nursing. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ. See why I think it is scary they are "releasing me" into the nursing world in December? I am so not with it, guys.

On top of that book, we were handed 5 other ATI books and a CD bundle yesterday. Just more "light reading" for us to cram in somehow. We have 4 ATI exams on top of everything else and we have to do well or, well, you know the drill. It's the "bye-bye" threat again. My school doesn't like its 95% NCLEX pass rate so they are torturing us to get it up to 100%. Ha. Dumbest thing I ever heard.

During break yesterday a classmate managed to fall down the auditorium steps, screaming all the way and spraining her ankle. I went to the nursing office to get the instructor and when she and I came back into the room I yelled, "Hey, I brought the NURSE!" Everyone laughed at that one. Instructor said, "You guys are ALL nurses." Well, I beg to differ on that. We are all scared-silly student nurses who are constantly under duress. NOT the same thing.

Managed to take a bunch of silly pictures in the lab yesterday w/ the dummies. My brain truly has turned to mush.

My instructors this semester are all kinda nutty but fun. I think I will be able to stay AOx4 in their classes. Ok, gotta get some work done. It is 6AM after all.

job update

i leave in an hour for orientation and i got up early r/t nerves. ahhhh. gotta love 'em.

got a call back from HR ysterday about the ICU unit sec position and they want me in the ED as a "senior level nurse tech/unit secretary." they even waived my hospital orientation because of my wierd schedule right now--they seem to already be accomodating me, so that is a good sign.

the pay is 12.50/hr (earniing the BIG bucks, baby, haha) and it will get my foot in the door. i think i can handle it, but maybe NOT during my clinical block, so will have to talk to them about that. Maybe just work a couple days during that 5 weeks.

hate that i am starting this now, but know there are many plus sides. just going to take things one day at a time and stick to my guns where my priorities are concerned.

yeah, and 4 months of nothing but nursing should be FUN, right? this is what i signed up for. what have i done! ;) like i said, nerves are so much fun.

ps got myself a new partner for check off, so there! take that!

off to orient. (wish i were off to THE orient, but no such luck.)

so...

Now the insomnia begins. *sigh*

Orientation on Tues and then classes begin. Thinking about "what I need to do" nonstop and hoping I havent forgotten anything.

Meanwhile, still havent heard back from HR. They offered me the job but then don't like my school schedule 'cuz it interferes w/ their hospital orientation. I just don't have 3 FULL days to give them during the week right now. And people, I applied in June for this. They had ALL summer to interview/hire/orient me. NOT my problem. If it doesnt work, it doesnt work. Will call on Monday I guess but right now just don't even care if I have the job or not. Too many other things going on!

I know I've said it before...

...but the thing I hate most about nursing school is the drama.

This week, for example, was Peds clinical wrap-up. Everyone is supposed to be happy because we all, assumedly, passed. My group has done pretty well, so none of us were too worried about suddenly failing out.

This clinical rotation only saw one incident that could have failed someone so far. One student left the hospital sick because she thought the CI (clinical instructor) told her to "go home" when the instructor really said "you should probably go home." The student didn't hand her paperwork in and just left the facility--this all happened on the day I wasn't there due to illness, so at least I got to miss that whole drama! If our CI felt like it, she could have failed this student, but the CI worked it out w/ her and had her bring the paperwork back up to the hospital, docked the student some points, and that was that. The student wasn't even written up. So, I was pretty impressed that my CI was so flexible when a misunderstanding occurred...

So, THIS week, on Thurs, we all brought in snacks and put together a HUGE gift for our CI (we went WAY, WAY overboard--I don't know what happened, but it was too much and kinda embarrassing). One classmate showed up looking kinda miffed and acted VERY strangely all day towards everyone. This girl is normally very talkative and fun, but she was biting peoples heads off all day and being VERY rude in general. We thought it had something to do with the gift or maybe she fought with her hubby or something? Nope.

I gave her a call yesterday morning to ask if she was okay because she left clinical crying after post conference on Thurs. She told me a pretty shocking story: Basically, on Wens, the clinical instructor told this student that she should choose another profession besides nursing because she just isn't cut out for it.

Now, I have always "heard" of instructors saying this kind of crap, but just thought it was another stupid nursing school rumor? I mean, that's pretty harsh, even if it IS true in some cases...

Anyway, this particular student had a couple more run-ins w/ the CI on Wens, and no one really knew anything about what was happening cuz we were all working our butts off w/ our own patients. Then we all went home after a short post-conference that was tense.

On Thurs morning, the CI called this girl at home and told her she had been written up for "surfing the internet on the floor, being unprofessional, and refusing to suction her patient 8 times." The student was informed that the CI called the director of the program Wens night and both had contemplated failing her, but they decided to give her one more chance. The student had to show up early before her last clinical to read her probation sheet, sign it, and then spend the day proving that she was fit to be a nurse someday. Ouch.

This whole thing shocks me a bit--my CI is so reasonable that I can't see her doing this kind of thing for no reason. Of course, my classmate is going to fight the probation, and if she fails clinical, she will take it to the school board.

I guess I feel like I don't know who to "believe" in the situation and it kinda messes w/ what I think of both of them. Trying to let the whole thing slide in my mind 'cuz it doesn't involve me, yet at the same time it makes me nervous. Like what if something like that happened to me? My classmate says this just kind of blindsided her, and honestly, this is my worst-case-scenario in school--that my CI will suddenly decide I just can't do this nursing thing and I will be GONE!!!!!!!!!!!!

We all have our evaluations and find out if we pass/fail on 3/5/07. Oh boy.