MRI time!

Later: Didn't have the MRI--got in the tube and freaked out--just couldn't stay in it for half an hour. Didn't know I was clastrophobic and am so stinkin' embarassed. Guess it happens a lot and the techs were sooooo nice about it. Called the doc and am waiting to see what he wants me to do. I can have an open MRI if he still thiks its necessary. Ugh.

Well, I am off to have my MRI-labs came back stellar, so I am probably just crazy and have psychosomatisized the entire thing. Whatever, dude. I think stress has driven me over the edge.

Cool thing about nursing school-you learn assertiveness. Had a doc appt today for one of my kids and was in there asking questions and being extremely assertive even in the face of adversity (which came in the form of a 65 year old RN who has seen it all and wanted me to know it). I am just noticing that I am able to stick up for myself--and today I stuck up for my kiddo. It felt pretty good. I am the kind of person who wants everyone to like me at the detriment of my opinions and feelings. Like I will back down when I notice someone getting angry and feel bad about myself, even when I am right. Probably the only place I don't do that is in my marriage (my poor hubby-I am a handful).

On the exterior, I think I look very confident and assertive but on the inside I just want to keep the peace and feel horrid when things get rocky. That won't work well in a hospital enviornemnt when I have to stand up for myself and my patient.

Somehow I don't think this button is appropriate for mental health clinicals?

Tomorrow begins the MUCH dreaded MH clinical and I just hope...pray...wish that things go okay and I don't shut down. I want to be confident and caring like I am in all other clinicals, yet I just don't know how things are going to work out. I know my cohorts are just as freaked.

The mind is very mysterious--and I don't feel like messing with anyone's mind. The thing I look least forward to is leading group therapy one day--yeah, we get to do that. If we could just get together and talk about crafts, TV, traveling, shopping--then hey, I would be fine. But I am so emotional I just don't know how I will respond to hearing a whole group of issues. It will be exhausting, I bet.

Watch me end up loving it.