I've had the nursing school "blahs" lately so I haven't been blogging. Don't know what to say about it except that I think seeing a classmate get booted from Peds by failing clinical really bugged me.
She lost her appeal and was going to take things furthur and had asked me to even write a letter on her behalf and submit it to her attorney for the appeal--which honestly wouldn't have helped her since I have never worked with her on the floor and only saw her in pre/post conference and can basically only write that from what I saw of her she SEEMED ok?? That doesn't mean crap to the nursing instructors and I am sure the attorney would have seen no value in it.
Ultimately, I told her I just didn't want to be a part of the appeal for the above reason and honestly, I have to keep my own rear covered. Sad, huh?
Plus I was threatened by several friends who have already graduated and been through this kind of thing that I would be tied to a tree somewhere if I even THOUGHT about writing a letter--they seem to think linking myself to someone in so much trouble would be bad for me. I dunno.
Even though I empathize with her, I can also see WHY she got the boot. Like I think the instructor was probably right-on for various reasons.
Yet IF I felt a letter from me would have helped her win an appeal, I would have stuck my neck out. I hope someone would do the same for me, but I have been assured by a few people not to count on it--basically everyone is laying low in my program. I understand. We are in survival mode. It all goes hand in hand with nurses eating their young and the underbelly of nursing that exists in the real world outside school.
The whole thing just made me feel crappy--and wierd. Yeah. I had an instructor tell me once that it stinks getting failed in clinical because it is so personal--like they are saying, "YOU suck as a person." I get that now. I wonder when they will find out that I suck?
Also I did something STOOPID on my cardiac test this week. I feel I did REALLY well on that exam--went to check my grade yesterday and had a ZERO!!!!! Just about fell out of my chair. A zero on an exam means that Prisca doesn't pass med/surg, people.
Called my instructor and maintained a calm exterior whilst FREAKING inside. She said I had written the wrong ID number on my scantron so she couldn't grade my test. STOOPID. I have ONLY been using the same ID number for my entire nursing school career. DUH. Instead, I wrote my ATM pin number on my scantron. Like I was trying to get money back from the school or something? Haha. I am laughing now, but it scared me to death yesterday.
Also, when filling in the auscultation sites of the heart on the exam, I wrote:
Aortic
Pulmonic
Erbs
Tricuspid
Mitral/Atrial
See the problem? I had heart anatomy on the brain I suppose and missed one because of that dumb mistake. I hate mistakes where you actually KNOW the info and just can't communicate that you know it.
All in all, I just feel like crap right now about school and I am ready to be done. So there. Tell me it will be alright? ;)
3.22.2007
BLAHging
Posted by Prisca: at 3:26 PM
Labels: Classmates, Grade rambling
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7 comments:
It will be alright. I feel your pain. Last semester we had some of that same crap that went down with your classmate, and none of us wanted to be involved either. The whole thing pisses me off to no end, but you have no control. Plus, you were going to stand up fo her which I can guarantee 99.9% of people in your class wouldn't do.
I also hate it when I know answers and can't communicate it. It happens to me all the time when I get pimped out (those oral quizzes) by my instructors. I have a better expressing myself with written words, but it's maddening and makes you go "DOH!" (Homer Simpson style) in the worst way, because as you know, in nursing school, every point counts.
I think I may have the blahs as well.
Man, you've had a rough go lately. Sorry to hear about it. hope things start to look up soon. Hang in there. BTW, did they grade your exam?
That's weird; I put "atrial" instead of "apical" on my last health assessment exam too. I was similarly steamed at myself. WELL, they're kind of the same? ;)P Sorry you have the blahs. Everyone seems to have 'em right now. The end is not near enough! Hang in...
You are fine. We're all sick of school. It still sucks about your friend, but she should know that once you're out, you're out. Nursing school is NOT a democracy.
It WILL be all right!
Many of us are feeling 'blah' right now. I just take it week by week. 7 weeks left in this semester for me, probably close to that for you. Hang in there.
You know, when I see a student not do well in clinical or hear of a conflict with an instructor, or whatever, I have to think about this: The instructors have seen REAL floor time, we have not. Surely something in their gut tells them when a student screws up in clinical whether or not it's a bump in the road for that student or whether it's a detour sign.
I know of students that have shaped things up or owned their mistakes and they're back on track. The ones that have left, whether by their own decision or that of the school's, may be the people that would not have been safe with the patients. KWIM?
I know this must have been emotionally gut-wrenching for you. Just try to focus on what our main priority is: safety and integrity with regard to those we will serve.
Don't feel too bad. It took me several minutes to remember the word "apical" after I read your post. I think nursing school is turning my brain into jello.
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